Samantha is 14

Yes, 14 people!!! Fourteen years ago today my life was forever changed by this little girl. Well she’s really not so little anymore, I am pretty sure she’s taller than me now…shhh don’t tell her I admitted that. Fourteen years ago….when I was fourteen, this little girl came into my life. I was in high school, and would be 15 in a few months.  I’d always wanted to have a little sister to help take care of growing up. I thought when mom was pregnant the first time that she was having a girl, and what was supposed to be Megan turned out to be Little David. But that is great, because I can’t imagine life without him either. So I begged and begged and finally I got my wish. ..on April 15, 1997 this little one completely changed my life, all 6 lbs and 15 oz of her.  At fourteen I became a second momma. Not because I had to be, but because I fell in love with this little chunky monkey the moment she arrived, I just couldn't help myself. 

She won’t remember these things, but I do…I will never forget getting fussed at by mom for the nicknames I gave her. Especially the time she caught me calling her my little fat hog when she was in her swing bouncing around. This child has had more nicknames in her life than 10 people combined. Even though she was a small baby, she was exceptionally chunky (as all babies should be!) so I called her fat hog. That didn’t last long. I remember putting her on the washing machine to watch her cheeks jiggle. I had to change her name to my teenie beanie baby. Beanie babies were still being passed around and I brought a few to the hospital when she was born. Teenie Beanie Baby got to be too long to say so then she became Bean. That stuck for the longest. Then one of the neighborhood kids would come over to play outside with her and he’d knock on the door and say (he couldn’t pronounce her name) “can Massa come out and play today?” So then she became Massa Bean. Then my dad became a pastor so we called her Passa Massa Bean.  Being the baby she got picked on the most, so the nicknames were abundant. But we loved her so and still do.

I remember being SO upset because I was very sick when she was born. I was being tested for TB because my cough/sickness had become so out of hand they weren’t sure I’d be able to hold her or even visit her in the hospital. I was livid, and determined to get better. I was so excited when I was able to visit and hold her, and bring her little beanie babies. I don’t know what it’s like to be a real momma. I have Coco and that’s it. But getting to be a much older sister has taught me a lot about love, and a lot about wanting to protect someone with all you have.  I will do anything to protect my siblings. Anything to help them and make them know how loved and special they are.  I say often that I don’t need kids anytime soon because I still have Sam. I said it about Lil David too. But now he’s gone and grown up on me…and she’s doing it now too. She needs to slow down. I keep begging her to stop aging and the kid just won’t listen.  So instead of pouting too much about it each year, I celebrate. I celebrate the fabulous life she’s had so far. The accomplishments she’s made. I love love love being the “party planner” each year. I love picking her up from school and being excited about her friends coming over. I love seeing how much she’s grown and the super cool little lady she’s become.

Sam and I are so different, but every once in a while I’ll see a tiny spark of me in her. Like when she was little she was a little prissy diva. She wanted to be a princess. Just like her big sis. So so girly, and I loved it. Now she’s come into her own. She’s so many things I am not. She is beautiful. Artsy. Bold. Blunt. Creative. Fun. Popular. Cool. Funny. Quick witted. A good dancer. She seems to be just naturally good at everything. (Isn’t that annoying?) But every once in a while we will see an old family friend that knew me growing up and they’ll say “she reminds me so much of you” or “she looks just like you” or “she has the same eye color”.  I don’t think she looks anything like me aside from the eye color, but it’s pretty cool to hear that.  She also does those little things that drive me mad, but only make me love her more. Because she’s so blunt, sometimes she can be rude. Sometimes I have to remind her to be more ladylike. Stop biting her nails. But she is still so amazing to me. My little dancer. My little diva. My little artist.  More recently we’ve discovered that she has a knack for photography and photo editing. This is VERY exciting to me. I can’t wait to watch her grow in this hobby and maybe even turn it into something more one day.

I could write about how much I love my sister forever. But some people don’t want to hear that. (I can’t imagine why not!) So I’ll leave with a song. I found this song back when I got my newest Taylor Swift CD. I can relate so much to this song, from the beginning to when she was born and so tiny, and when she was running up and down the halls of my dorm at three years old when I first went off to college. Alone, on my own for the first time. Without my little sidekick. My mini-me. The babydoll that I dressed up several times a day and took photos of. The one who insisted on putting on a dress and being in my prom pictures with me at 2…sigh…

Click on the video to listen, so much better to hear it :)

Never Grow Up

-Taylor Swift

Your little hands wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have honey
If you could stay like that

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
No, no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14, there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots

But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older, too
And don't lose the way that you dance around
In your PJs getting ready for school

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple

No one's ever burned you
Nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to
Just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs

I just realized everything I have
Is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder than I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up

Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
Could still be little
Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple

Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even through to you want to
Please try to never grow up

Don't you ever grow up

Never grow up
Just never grow up

Love you more than you could ever imagine SDP. Forever.

 You can read more about Samantha in THIS post and THIS post.